The Journey of ME

 我爱冰咖啡， 白天黑夜，晴天雨天， 它陪着我，一年又一年。 像记了我的倔强， 我从不服输，绝不妥协。 但在今天，夏至 我喝了一杯热咖啡 像一条骑着脚踏车的鱼， 不在水里，却在陆地行走 今年夏至 我想，我的叛逆， 在倔强的城墙里， 开出了第一朵小花。

 爱是：  永不假设，永不期待，永不幻想。永远不要高估你在别人的心里第位。爱人要永远先爱己。              熬夜和爱而不得的那个人，都应该放弃了。

 For the longest time, I kept hearing it: “This is your breakthrough year.” “This is your momentum year.” I listened to so many tarot readings, clinging to hope. Waiting. Wondering when life would finally start to move again. But nothing changed — not on the outside. My career didn’t take off. I stayed mostly at home, in my room, feeling stuck, almost invisible. Since 2023, my world became small and silent. It wasn’t just burnout. It was pain. It was trauma — the kind that doesn’t show. I had been bullied in a workplace by people I trusted. That experience broke something inside me. I lost my sense of safety, my confidence, and most painfully… my courage. I stopped going out. I avoided places where I might see them again. Even taking a train back to my hometown became terrifying. My heart raced. I felt like I was going to fall apart. That one-hour-and-thirty-minute journey felt like a lifetime. I kept asking the universe: “Where is my momentum? When will the breakthrough...

I love coffee. One day, I topped up a coffee shop app—only to realize later, it had no delivery service in apps and didn’t offer refunds. Disappointed, I decided to go out and use it. I put on a simple T-shirt, short pants, slippers, and brought a recycle bag— just like I used to... years ago. Years ago, when I was followed. Watched. When gang stalking made me shrink into myself. When I internalized every judgment from ex-colleagues and stopped stepping outside altogether. I stayed locked in. Not just in my room or house— but inside my own guilt and shame. Two years passed like that. Today, I took a breath. I stepped out. I went to a mall I never cared for in the past. But today, it looked new. Exciting. Alive. It had changed— more outlets, more food, more energy. And I felt it too. That spark. Like I was 18 again, arriving in this city to study. Hopeful. Curious. Ready. I bought milk and coffee powder. My heart whispered: “These vegetables look fresh—let's get som...

Lot of people laughed On my last day—when I stepped out of the office. Some creepily took pictures, as if my humiliation was their entertainment. I overheard whispers: “She’s such a big failure.” “Moron.” “Stupid.” “Salary thief.” "Clown in the Company." That was the first time I truly learned what gang bullying in the workplace meant. A naive girl finally opens her pandora box. I learned how words—just words—could pierce the heart like a knife. I learned how "harmless" actions could quietly kill a person inside. They twisted the story, They faked the narrative. They gang-stalked. They secretly took photos, videos in public place. They threw dirty water, tarnished a reputation I worked years to build. And I— I wanted revenge. I also took their pictures, I also recorded. I wanted to hurt them the way they hurt me. I wanted to see them suffer. I wanted to even the score. But… if I did that, I would become one of them. I paused. I cried. I refuse...

I took the LRT on 7 June 2025 to delivered biscuits for my friend.  7 June 2025 was a usual weekend. A big sunny day.  I stepped into the light railway transit station, like I used to be.  It is the very first time since I learned how pain can linger in places, in metal seats and station platforms, in the spaces between strangers’ eyes. There was a time I couldn’t breathe in crowds. A time I traded my presence for invisibility. Grab rides became my world. Tarot became my anchor. Silence became my safest friend. Tear is my dearest lover. But today… I stepped back into the world. No panic. No tight chest. Just a quiet steadiness. I did something completely wild I went to  that  shopping mall. The place I avoided for  years  because I knew they — the people who bullied me, who used to eat there, laugh there, walk around like they owned the air and space. I sat there for lunch with seat next to a big window. For two hours. No hiding. No rushing. No earph...