Conquered the sun

 I still remember…

When I was suffering from gang stalking after leaving that toxic company.

Even inside the train, I heard them say:
“She is stupid, such a big failure.”

My heart screamed: I am tired. Just leave me alone. I just want to stay alive.

I turned into survival mode.
I worked remotely and took Grab to every destination.
Food delivery became my only option.

Dine-in? Even though it was cheaper, it was a big “no” in my life.
I always texted the rider: “Kindly leave the food outside the unit. I am not at home.”
Only God knew — I was actually standing behind the door, waiting quietly.

I took the train at 8:30 pm — the least crowded hour. To avoid human.

I didn’t want to see anyone.

Just not at that moment. 

I still couldn’t hold myself steady after all those incidents.

But I am aware, I couldn’t live like this forever.
If I continued, depression would slowly devour me.

So, I started to reclaim my space.
I set a routine: I would go back to my hometown twice a week, to see my family — my strongest supporters.

I started taking the train earlier, shifting from 8:30 pm to 7:30 pm, the peak hour.
I chose to learn cooking, went to shopping malls by LRT.

I immersed myself in the crowds.
I became part of the crowds.
And I was so happy — finally, I didn’t break down when I reached home.

I started gardening.
Draining the soil under the sun. Watering the plants at sunset.

It felt so good — to live under the sun.
To feel alive again.

Every time a seed sprouted,
I saw my life growing, brighter and brighter.

I conquered the sun.
I came back to life.

 








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