My cocoon

I am a very lucky person. I get a remote job, have the financial ability to grab food and move at any time.  This job doesn't need me to have much communication with others. The only downside, I feel bored. 

So, I found tarot reading channel and I love it. It feels like someone is talking to me, giving me advice. It kills my boredom. I learn how to DIY (do it myself) everything. I want to dye my hair? I just buy the box color online and do it myself. Need fresh vegetable? just order online. I avoid dealing with people at all costs. Money is not a problem for me. 

I am actively building and hiding inside my cocoon; A world where nobody could hurt me. It is perfect and comfortable, I am the king inside this cocoon, or I shall name it, castle and I did not allow any doors and windows build on this castle. NO NEED. As the owner of this castle, I announce, I no need friend, I am good on my own. Fuck off, people. 

But, still sometime, I remember the laugh I have with my ex-colleagues, I remember the angry that I have when the train is delayed. I remember the tiredness and excitement I have when I am outstation. I remember......so many feelings that make me human. I know, I don't live like a human anymore, more like a robot.

Once in a blue moon, I am getting eczema and very bad fever, my skin flare up so bad that I need to get medical help. I am actually drag it for 1 week and try so many ways: drink herbal tea, applied anti-fungal cream, and nothing work. My brain screams, you need to go out, go get the medical help. Finally, I grab my purse and step out from my cocoon. The clinic is just a five-minute walk away.

On that 5 minutes' walk, I notice there are so many cars parked beside the road and trees. The strict is so empty and the sun is hot. I am sweating so much. The clinic is quite empty too. Only me, doctor and 1 assistance. I walk slowly on the way back home, just to watch the trees and feel the sun. 

The world is so peace and quiet on that day. Universal whisper to me: Do you see my great creation? Do you feel it today? You will like it. Enjoyed it.

That day, I knew. There was a small crack in my cocoon. A small window, slowly opening in my dark castle to let the light in. 

In the quiet, I heard the world say: Welcome back, human.





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